i know i know

It's back to back posting on my very precious blog. FYI, I'm not sick. It's just that I really missed blabbing and vomiting words on this blog (literally). Anyway, how do you find this picture interesting? At first I thought it was kind of cute. But later, it seems like I'm having severe constipation. Haha. (so not funny)

p.s. that's why profile picture is not a 'smiling' profile picture. I'll change it but not now.

i've got the magic in me

This is a story about my great grandfather. Recently, my mom told me about how she lived with 11 other aunts and uncles in the same house since she was born until she finished her high school. Then the story about how my great grandfather managed to support the whole family arose.

Here comes my favourite part. Mom told me that my great grandfather was once an engineer! Can you believe that? I mean I have the engineer blood in me. Well she said that he started working as an electrical engineer in UEM. Then he managed to get promoted eventually. From riding a bicycle to work, he was able to buy his motorbike or vespa (I'm not sure) and in the end he got himself a car for the family.

But that's not the end for it. He actually had an engineering company named after him. It was Syarikat Kejuruteraan Mohamed. Wow! I'm just sooo proud of him. I bet if he's still alive, he'll remember me because I'm his first grandchild of course.

Know what, I've always been thinking that my life would be much more amazing if I could study elsewhere. Since I've got the 'magic' in me, I thought it would be great if I could take engineering and go study to Korea or Japan. And I can touch the snow for real this time! Or maybe I can meet Lee Young Jae or Tae Kyung or Ji ho in Korea. If I'm in Japan maybe I can somehow meet Domyouji, Nakatsu or even my beloved Nanba senpai!!! (enough said)

You can say that I'm biased. I tell you what, I guess I really am. I might as well go to France, Germany or even Australia to study engineering. But do you know the reason why wouldn't I pick those countries? Haha. Because I've never known any hot and super cute actors originate from there. Isn't it obvious? I'll still pick Japan or Korea for God sake.

p.s. I'm back into my reality. My life as a student is in Makassar. I'm studying medicine. I'll finish in about 2 years from now. I have to face it. Yup, I know.

p.s.s. Me and my brothers and sister Johor celebrating Aidilfitri in 2010. Suppose I have 2 sisters however the other one was busy snapping this pictures of us.

The thing about life is that it's just too complicated. You're maybe facing this certain phase in life but once you go back and reminisce all previous histories, sometimes it makes you think twice, thrice or maybe more than that.

I'm full of complex feelings mixed and jumbled up right now. It seems like I'm being sucked up by a whirlpool.


p.s. fyi, I'm really terrified of water. Not to mention whirlpool (above is just a random picture i picked from the internet but really suits my feelings right now), which for me it equals to a ginormous and brutal shark from 'Jaws'!!

p.s.s. that's also my other reason why I don't prefer to take a bath. Haha. But I constantly trying to make it happen. You know.. (cross my heart)

happy birthday to me

I was born on the 13th October in the year of dragon. Since I'm the one daughter who didn't stay any longer than 12 years with her family at home, I'm not that fond of celebrating that particular day. Most of the time I was in school so frankly all I got was text messages from my family with birthday wishes in it. Okay, maybe with a several birthday calls from my parents too. Till I had the chance to study abroad, celebrating my birthday was the least favourite for me.

I guess it's a bit weird though right? Well I can't say that I don't like to celebrate it at all because I did try to get the joyous feelings. Sadly, I just can't. We have a tradition to celebrate that particular day by having the whole family member to gather and have some dinner and of course stuffing our mouths with the birthday cake!

Now I know very well for my reasons not to want to celebrate my birthday. First, because most of the time I don't get the chance to have my family members right beside me. Regardless if I have my birthday cake but without them, it's definitely lonely and empty.

p.s. 2nd reason: I don't know why but I don't like to be reminded annually that I'getting older and older. Haha

p.s.s. I specifically requested to have only 2 small candles(equals to 2 years old if you didn't get what i mean) on my birthday cake. To my disappointment, they neglected my every words and urged me to blow all the candles. Sigh. I don't want to be a 36 years old nanny yet!

a fresh start

Deepest condolences i bid to my beloved blog since I've deleted most of my previous posts (all of them to be precise). Hehe. Sorry. I guess I need a rather dramatic change to this blog. I promise myself not to publish too many posts regarding my tantrums and all other stuffs related.

Anyway, consider this post as a fresh start to something in between the good, the bad and the weird version of me. I have to admit that I'm made of those characters.

p.s. try to love this one =)