Sometimes, well most of the time I always thought that I'm having some disease that apparently haven't been discovered yet. Sometimes I even came to some weird diagnosis that I made myself which obviously not accurate at all. Name various diseases from common infection, systemic and tumors (oh and not to mention cancers) are some of the diseases which I thought that I might be suffering from.
I guess me myself is twisted after all. Whenever I think of those stuff I'll eventually think of my death day. About how will my last hours be. Would I be in severe pain that everything doesn't matter anymore or when the time comes I might be sleeping soundly like a baby or maybe I'll go coma then pass away. Twisted, I know. That's why I said that I might be suffering from something.
Who knows it might not be as twisted as you think. Maybe it's just me and my curious mind. Maybe I'm preparing for the worst which (might be) yet come. I can't just hope for only butterflies and rainbows to happen all the time. Life is full of both sad and happy things. Or maybe I'm just too messed up with this medical studies and reached the climax where I'm going cuckoo at some point.
Hmm. That's what I do. I think a lot. Very much. Most of the time I just keep the thoughts to myself. There are times where it even made my head feels like exploding. For centuries I told myself not to keep this weird habit but unfortunately I just can't let this one precious bad habit go. I've been thinking that maybe I need some distractions. Preferably distractions that can bring major impact. Things that can keep me off my twisted mind for a while.
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