Tomorrow would be my very first official holiday since I've entered Pediatrics Department. In other words no work and on-calls for Friday. It's a great news because I haven't had any break since it began. And for that, I'm sorry for not spending much time to write to my dearest blog. I've tried to find the time to write but whenever I got the chance to do so I prefer resting a.k.a. sleeping. Yes, I haven't had enough sleep too. Pity me.
I'm writing tonight just to make several things clear. A couple of days back I posted something about quitting medicine. I know that it's not a nice thing to say. But I just need to admit that I do feel that way from time to time. It's not the medicine itself that is hard. I can cope with that complicated science, all the organs, hormones, drugs, etc. Just so you know, studying medicine here in this country; it is real hard.
Entering the practical years is exciting at first. But since all I get to everyday is 1) check the blood pressure 2) check the body temperature 3) pulse rate and 4) respiratory rate all day and night, it became tiresome and such a waste of time. And guess what? We (practical medical students) need to do that for the whole 2 years. Not to mention that we do have on-calls. Which sometimes (actually most of the time) I feel ridiculous. We need to stay back in the hospital just to check all that 4 things I've mentioned above. By the way, did you know that those things that we need to do can be done by a nurse? Yes, a nurse.
Most of the time I feel jealous with other medical students whom studying in a much better university. They get to go to lectures, get a proper discussion, learn bed side teaching, master the basic theory of medicine, don't get to do stuff whom only a kuli would do, get scolded for things that you don't know because no one ever taught you and you never even got the chance to study because you've always occupied for doing ridiculous unnecessary stuff like writing paper works for doctors, go and collecting the urine and poop sample to the lab (which obviously are not our job todo so) and so much more that you can never think of. No wonder that the medical graduates from this country are always discriminated when they got back home.
I'm tired. Mentally and physically. Call me weak but I tell you what. I've been coping with it for more than you ever thought. I need to be understood by others. Yes I said something bad but just be considerate. I'm trying hard to keep holding on.
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Kan??! Erghh.
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