Neutralizer

I need to put this one put this one up right after the previous post just to neutralize my blog's atmosphere. I know I've violated my own oath by posting one emotional post. I am terribly sorry for that.

This picture is from last night's pillow talk with my beloved Mama. As you can see, my Abah's face was really fresh from the bed or more like a sleepy zombie I guess. Haha. So funny.

I miss you guys the most. Do pray for me :)

Break me

I think that I have finally reached the phase where I just don't give any $#!* that happened. This time I'll just go through whatever this is with whatever piece of hearts I have left. Violated and irritating would be the best words for what I'm referring to. Sadly, I have to accept that as if I have no rights for myself at all.

Mind you, I'm not saying that Medicine is hard. I love Medicine. It's really damn interesting. Studying Medicine gives me all the answers that I've always wanted to know. Medicine is fun.

The one thing that I'm referring to which gruesome and dirty is the hardships of living in this tiny island, this particular country to be precise. I don't know why would they do too many ridiculous regulations just to make sure that we all would suffer. I seriously don't get why wouldn't they just create one effective system and just abide by it anyway? Things will never make any sense here. It never does.

I am currently of my 3rd week in Anesthesiology department. I had 6 shifts for my 1st week, another 6 shifts for my 2nd week and 4 shifts for my 3rd week. But since I went to meet my doctor (since she's currently not staying in the same hospital that I do) for assignment discussion, on the day that all of us needed to attend some stupid event that we never get any benefit at all to be precise, I was punished by adding another 2 shifts this week! If you do the math, that'll be 18 shifts for 3 consecutive weeks.

Seriously, every Tuesday is supposed to be the day whereby every practical students will have their time to go and meet their doctors for discussion. And this is what I get? Punished with another 2 shifts added to this week? Even though I did abide by the rules?

Now do tell me how am I suppose to get my assignment done? When do I have time to actually read a book and study? When actually do I have time to complete that stupid logbook?

Oh, and here's the thing. If you're someone's big shot's daughter, I swear by heaven and hell that your life will be ultimately spot on. smooth and flawless. No doctors would want to punish you or even pick on you and you'll be treated like a princess, literally.

The doctor's world is always cruel. Fml.

p.s. Supposedly, the rules are 6 shifts for the 1st week, 4 shifts for the 2nd week, 3 shifts for 3rd week and 2 shifts for the 4th week. How can I not be angry?

Like a hard candy with a surprise center

I can't believe that the weekend is here! It seems like I've just left Forensic department yesterday and now here I am, with almost one week full of un-shampooed hair. Disgusting, I know. Try to picture me with Severus Snape's greasy hair. I just can't help it.

You know, the worst part or should I say in a more appropriate word, troublesome part of clinical years is the on-calls. I am never fond of on-calls. Before I elaborate more, for your information, our medical faculty here is a wee bit different from almost every other medical faculties in the world. The on-calls part to be per se.

We, as clinical years medical students do have on-calls. And it differs from each departments. Allow me to remind you that there are no such thing as a limit for working hours here. One can stay in a certain hospital for as long as 30 days a month without even a chance of going back home. Sick isn't it? I'm never telling you for how many hours have I been in a hospital. I don't think you'll ever believe that it's true.

Hmm. Let's just drop that part. See, I don't think on-calls are made for students, really. Maybe if they'll pay me for having on-calls, then I'll change my mind? Lol. I don't know.

The one and only reason for all the fuss is because I can't get my daily dosage of quality sleep. Sleeping has become my favorite past time. I'd rather stay at home and sleep in my precious bed than going out to mingle. I can't believe that I just confessed that one. But that's the truth. I come home everyday, tired, fatigue, and all I can see is just my bed. Period.

Hmm. But that's just the flow here. I just need to bear with it for some time till this is all over.

I need to tell you something, I seriously love to sleep.

Night! :)

Shangri-la

When she was just a girl

She expected the world

But it flew way from her reach so

She ran away in her sleep

and dreamed of paradise

Every time she closed her eyes

When she was just a girl

She expected the world

But it flew way from her reach

And the bullets catch in her teeth

Life goes on, it gets so heavy

The wheel breaks the butterfly

Every tear a waterfall

In the night the stormy night she'll close her eyes

In the night the stormy night away she'd fly

Possibilities, Potentials, Fat Chances

1. I have reached the final week of Forensics department. Yesterday was my case presentation day and I barely survived through it. As the matter of fact, I'm not a public-speaking person. I can't talk in front of a crowd. It creeps me out. Even if I have prepared myself well the night before, the outcome is always the same. My adrenaline rush never fails to prove me that whatever I do, I'll still lose to him, big time. Not to forget that sweaty palms and feet, heart thumping very hard and almost jump out of the chest and to that cracked voice that never fails me. Painful to watch.

2. I'd love to write more, if you know what I mean. I tend to have this some sort of ideas of what to write next but just like that, the ideas fly away. Like the feelings you get when having sugar rush. Very... agitated? Or anxious. I don't know which one really.

3. Google-ing cute cats/kittens/baby tigers/baby jaguars videos are thrilling. I'm not a big fan of human baby  but baby animals are always a yes! Haha. Actually, I always add another description why I'm not fond of human babies that much, but I guess it's not that appropriate and too provocative to begin with. So let's just settle with my previous statement.

4. I secretly wish that Cardiology department will soon be joining Internal Medicine. So that I can cut short one precious month. But you know, rumors are rumors till they happen to be true.

5. Back to talking about Forensics. It's so damn scary to study whatever written in the books or even lecture slide. I can't stand looking/staring at the insanely scary pictures. Sigh, remind me why I want to be a doctor again?

6. We all have fair chances. Potentials to become anything. It makes you believe in possibilities. We just need to know how to use them well. The fat chances I meant.

Till then, good night.

Perfectionism

*This is not a sponsored post, just barely a consumer's point of view :)

While I was walking to my workplace yesterday morning, I decided to stop by at the nearby mini mart to buy some snacks. Okay, actually that part is not true. I purposely stop by at the mini mart to buy the brand new Magnum Gold! For breakfast! Haha.

This one up here. Looks insanely delicious. I saw the ad a few weeks ago and been searching for it ever since. And since this little island is a wee bit far from the technology and modernization, it takes a quite long time for the ice cream to reach here. Regardless, I'm still relieved that they finally decided to ship some of it for citizens of this little island including yours truly.

I had ice cream for breakfast. And I still can't believe that one Magnum Gold has almost 490 kcal in it. It gave me sugar rush, I tell you. But in a good way anyway. See, I'm trying hard to count my calories and by having an ice cream it really helps a lot by increasing my total calorie count. Good guy, Magnum Gold. Haha.

Referring to the title 'Perfectionism', I once considered myself a perfectionist. But soon as I live my life, the term perfectionism seems to fade away little by little and finally... gone. I can't keep being a perfectionist while the world around me succeeded in giving the best %#!% they ever had. So I improvise. To cope with the imperfections that I have instead of the perfect things that I've always wished for.

Hmm. I'm still learning though, not that I mean that I can cope that easily.

Have a great Sunday!

An understatement

To those who are not really familiar with comics like me, to be precise One Piece, I present to you, Tony Tony Chopper. Sheesh. This is all my sister's fault. Well, not actually her fault at all. I was chatting with her on Facebook just now, and she told me to get her this one little teddy bear called Tony Tony Chopper. And of course I didn't have any clue what that really is. But since she mention the word 'cute' then I've already guessed that it must be some little teddy bear in some comic book. She even asked me to Google it myself. So funny she is.

What makes this little teddy bear interesting is... the price! Can you believe that it costs around 200 myr each? Hahaha. I must be crazy. She must be crazy too. Crazy over this Tony guy here I meant. By the way, Tony Tony Chopper is a really cute name. I wonder who came up with the idea to give him that name.

Going to bed now. Sweet dreams everyone! :)