Not so gibberish

1. My Surgery department exam is postponed to Monday.
2. After drawing straws, I was unlucky because I got the killer examiner.
3. My examiner is a Neurosurgeon, which means that probably I'll be dead as soon as 2 seconds after meeting him.
4. I'm starting another department, Forensic for 6 consecutive weeks. Then, the Anesthesiology department is waiting for me. And the list goes on and on as usual.
5. I can't wait to finish my studies.
6. I lost count for how many days have we Muslim fast. Maybe I did it purposely. Maybe because the loneliness feeling being away from family is too hurtful.
7. I can see my gaunt reflection in my mirror. My cheekbones and jaw are protruding like I have never seen them in a million years.
8. I don't know how may kilos have I lost till today.
9. I frequently feel cold everyday. Maybe due to loss of what's left of my adipose tissue.
10. I wish for a Doraemon as my pet so that I can walk through his 'pintu suka hati' anytime and anywhere I want.

Anywhoo, dear the Almighty, I'm praying for the safety and happiness of my beloved people, my Mama, Abah, younger sisters and baby brothers. Though I am so far away from them, please keep them safe. Please give your blessings upon them so that they'll live their daily lives under your rahmat each and everyday. Please give them courage and hope to face through everything that you've planned for them. I beg for sincere forgiveness as I'm only a humble human being whom have done too much wrongdoings towards you. Ameen.

Sociopath

Anticipation

It is coming in approximately less than a week. I bet everybody's looking forward for it. The fasting month is just around the corner. As for me, this will be the last time that I'm going to celebrate fasting month and Aidilfitri away from home. It's kind of sad to think that through all this 5 years studying abroad, I was only home once to celebrate Aidilfitri with my family. 

Hmm. This year, it's a lot different. Almost all of my batch mates are going to be home to be with their respective families during these festive months. I just need to put aside those unwanted-negative-sad feeling for a while. 

Just think of the bright side. I'm already half way there. I just need that much of courage to finish off this last half a mile. Aaaaaaaaaand I'll be home for good. Wow! I can't wait to say that for real! Hahaha.

Anyway, happy fasting everyone! May you be blessed each and every day. :)

Disturbing fact

Makes me feel like losing the battle even before the war starts.
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Warheads

1. Sometimes, I thought that I might have chosen the wrong career. I should have become an army instead. You know, mentally and physically strong (tough enough to become a doctor afterwards).

2. I miss Zoo Negara.

3. Rumor has it that only couples who are married for >1 year will be considered to get the same hospital for the 2-years of Housemanship.

4. I'm currently 9th week of Surgery. Unlike pregnancy (which will end by 38-42 weeks), Surgery will terminate by 11th week.

5. Which means I'm dead. There's so much to study and I haven't started anything yet. It's like you know that you will going to be admitted to the delivering room soon but you haven't made any preparations e.g. babyclothes, pacifier, bib, parenting yet.

6. There's a lot in my mind and sometimes I do think that maybe I have a ticking bomb in my brain. Gosh, please calm down, will you?

7. I think that I'm sleep deprived. But to tell you the truth, I sleep like a log for a minimum of 6 hours every day. I'm regretting this.

8. I feel like there's something that I need to do. The urge of finding something. What is it?

9. I take up watching Running Man and reading Calvin & Hobbes as a daily routine. For my source of happiness. Literally means to forget the chaotic life that I'm currently living in.

10. What will happen when I have no more Running Man to watch? Or no more Calvin & Hobbes to read?

11. I think that currently I'm having flight of ideas. You know, I had coffee at 4 in the morning. Coffee's nice but it'll cause me to act like I'm having some sort of anxiety disorder.

12. Maybe my body cannot cope well with a good shot of caffeine yet. I wonder when it will get use to it.

The end. For now.

P.s. Terribly sorry for the broken English. I can't think straight for the moment. I'll come back to you later.
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