new year's resolutions

Overall, I seriously hope that I will improve myself. And here goes my list..

1. To be better spiritually and mentally.
2. Be an optimist and never judge others.
3. To excel in my clinical years. Oh, and I wish for many many many lucks too.
4. Improve my English both in writing and speaking. Not to forget to read tonnes of books in English.
5. I seriously need to polish my people skill. I need to communicate more and try to make friends with others.
6. Be an independent super woman! Yeah!
7. This one thing that I'm not proud of is that I really love gossiping. But I guess I need to tone down a bit right there. But I'm a girl. And that's what a girl does right? LOL (okay, seriously I need to change).
8. Spend less and save more. For the mean time, I don't think I can manage that. But I'll give it a try no matter what.
9. Learn guitar plucking.
10. Eat as many as I can each and every time I get the chance to do so. Who knows 2011 might be the year that I'll gain weight!

Hmm. I thought I have a lot to put into my list. Apparently I could only think of these 10 at the mean time. Never mind then. I'm hoping for the best of 2011 to welcome the brand new me.

p.s. new year and fireworks are one.

the fighting fish

He's one gorgeous fighting fish isn't he? He had be in possession of mine since last Wednesday. And oh, by the way, I'm just the babysitter for him. Apparently he doesn't have a name yet. I'm still wondering what I should call him best.

Anyway, I have a pet fish! This is freaking amazing! I'm so excited!

p.s. I don't even know whether it is male or female. I just assumed that he's a he. You know I love to put all my belongings as a he. Haha!

p.p.s. I know I should put this post earlier (I mean as soon as I got him!). I guess it's just better late than never then.

tranquillizer

I want that peace sign necklace. For no specific reason. Really.

p.s. what if I fell to the floor? Couldn't take this any more. What would you do?

back to the future

I'm planning to sleep at 12 a.m. and wake up at 5 a.m. starting today. In less than a week I'll be entering the practical years for good with 139 other students who took the Hippocratic Oath together a few days back. I guess I need to change my Circadian clock by now. I used to sleep like a baby. Usually by 9 p.m. to 10 p.m. I'll feel sleepy already and not long after that I am the Sleeping Beauty. But I wake up consistently at 6 a.m. But I guess if I needed to catch the public transport by 6.30 a.m. then waking up at 6a.m. is not something that I would want to.

It is unbelievable that I am a fourth year student right now. It seems like just yesterday I've just arrived here at this country. Time does fly damn fast.

p.s. Sleeping Beauty no more :(

a joyous celebration

Meri Kurisumasu everyone! It's a bit strange the way I wish you guys for this festive season. Actually, I got it from AirAsia's 360 magazine the last time I board onto their plane. This time the 360 magazine featured all about Christmas. For example, interesting places, weird cultures, Christmas and new year's offers and many more. I've read the magazine from cover to cover through the flight!

By the way, it said that in Japan, they celebrate Christmas with fried chicken!

p.s. my sister is planning to further her degree in Korea or Japan (both are my favourites!).

p.p.s. I'm just not a big fan of babies. Really.

trust fund

I take respect as one of the quality that everybody should have within their personality. I try to respect people regardless who they are, what skin colour do they have, what culture did they have been raised up with and what religion that they put their beliefs into. To add to it, I also believe in karma. What goes around comes around.

Of all the things that I believe in, I still don't have the power to see the future. I'm hoping for the best that each and every time a good deed has been done, it will eventually replaced by a good deed too.

Now the major problem that might not make it work is that I'm not friendly. I'm a lazy mouth (berat mulut). I talk less. People will definitely think that I'm snobbish, nosy and selfish.

Hmm. Maybe I should get the latter sort out first.

p.s. if I were a multi million dollar billionaire, I would have a trust fund for all children in the world with dyslexia. I was once dyslexic.

love you, miss you

It had only been one week. And I miss all them 4 like mad.How will I survive in 2 years time?

secret and confidential

I bet if anyone would want to see me land on my bum right in the bottom of the deepest ocean then all he/she would have to do is tickle me. LOL. Not literally tickle me tickle. Well, it is just more than a tickle. FYI, I'm easily (super duper) psycho-ed. So take my words. Just say anything that relates to me and have a twist to it and I'll be paranoid in no time. And I'll fall deep down below.

If it's so hard for you to think, let's just assume that I am really lacking in self confidence. Wow! This is one big confession. Actually I do have self confidence but once someone criticize or condemn anything that I did then that self confidence will slowly crawl away from me. Leaving me with none at all. It's hard to deal with my unstable self confidence really. Maybe I should read books about self improvement, shouldn't I?

One more thing, whenever I fall, It's really hard to get myself straight any more. At least it takes a gazillion of efforts and what ever related to it. Then eventually will I gain myself back.

p.s. nobody's perfect. But I consider my self a perfectionist. Funny right? :)

p.p.s. oh, please don't let me fall.

p.p.p.s I seriously don't do emo posts. Just so you know. Peace!! :)

how should i put this?

I'm 158 cm tall. Let's do some maths. To get at least 18.5 for the perfect body mass index I need to have total body weight of 46.2 kg. Wow! That is sure a lot. How am I suppose to get there? Let's say I'm aiming to achieve the minimum weight so that I can at least get the score 17, then I need 42.4 kg. Now the number seems more realistic.

Back in Malaysia, I went to a pharmacy to get some diet and nutrition consult. I said that I'm desperate to gain weight. Normally, I'm only 43 or so kg (now can you see how desperate I am?). But then the pharmacist told me that I should be grateful because I don't have to worry about getting fat at all. Worst yet, she said that my last and only chance to at least to get chubbier is getting married and pregnant and have kids. That's a major frustration! She said that I should just maintain BMI of 17 because that's just enough.

I am weird. I'll never get the chance to be like those girls who complaints a lot about getting fat to their girlfriends. I guess I should just be grateful. Okay then, alhamdulillah:)

Tomorrow's the day!

p.s. notice the small round and red thing in front of that big red hand bag? I call it my lucky charm. It's a 2 sided pocket mirror. Not that I need to use the mirror all the time. It's just that I won't go anywhere without my lucky charm. Maybe it really does bring luck everywhere I go. LOL.

updates

Landed safely in Kuala Lumpur last Sunday. Went to the hospital and met the doctors as soon as arrived. Received appropriate medical attention. Currently healing slowly at home.

Diagnosis: dyspepsia (acute gastritis)

randomn

p.s. I'm always a girl. Duhh! :)

don't take away from me

Obviously from the title it means that this whatever-creature-I'm-holding-on-to is not and never mine. Can't I just steal it? I'm deeply in love with him. Don't separate us. It will torture him as well. It's as if I am to marry him for a lifetime. I love this guitar. You can tell by looking into my eyes. LOL.

p.s. okay maybe I'm delusional for saying that I'm to marry a soul-less guitar. Maybe I'm exaggerating for the fact that separating us will hurt him more. Well, at least I have a picture of me with him for this blog! I know, 'you can't always get what you want'.

p.p.s. you do know that when I'm saying him it means the guitar above right? Yup. Just to make it clear. Have a nice day! :)

you won't do the same

Easy come, easy go, that's just how you live
Oh, take, take, take it all but you never give
Should've known you was trouble from the first kiss
Had your eyes wide open, why were they open?

Gave you all I had and you tossed it in the trash
You tossed it in the trash, you did
To give me all your love is all I ever asked
'Cause what you don't understand is

I'd catch a grenade for ya
Throw my hand on a blade for ya
I'd jump in front of a train for ya
You know I'd do anything for ya

I would go through all this pain
Take a bullet straight through my brain
Yes, I would die for you, baby
But you won't do the same

No, no, no, no

Black, black, black and blue, beat me 'til I'm numb
Tell the devil I said, hey, when you get back to where you're from
Mad women, bad women, that's just what you are, yeah
You'll smile in my face then rip the brakes out my car

Gave you all I had and you tossed it in the trash
You tossed it in the trash, yes, you did
To give me all your love is all I ever asked
'Cause what you don't understand is

I'd catch a grenade for ya
Throw my hand on a blade for ya
I'd jump in front of a train for ya
You know I'd do anything for ya

I would go through all this pain
Take a bullet straight through my brain
Yes, I would die for ya, baby
But you won't do the same

If my body was on fire
Ooh, you'd watch me burn down in flames
You said you loved me, you're a liar
'Cause you never, ever, ever did, baby

But darling, I'd still catch a grenade for ya
Throw my hand on a blade for ya
I'd jump in front of a train for ya
You know I'd do anything for ya

I would go through all this pain
Take a bullet straight through my brain
Yes, I would die for you, baby
But you won't do the same

No, you won't do the same
You wouldn't do the same
Ooh, you never do the same
No, no, no, no

p.s. Wow! What a powerful vocals he has. Currently listening to this song and literally can't get if off of my head.

p.p.s. well the lyrics sure means a lot.

totally love you Scott Pilgrim!

He's funny! It's like I can watch the movie over and over again. Its the perfect mash up of comic, virtual games, bands, great songs and performances. All in one. Can you imagine that?

p.s. oh, not to mention I'm so in love with Ramona Flower's hair.

p.p.s. btw, Scott Pilgrim made me want to play the guitar and sing my lungs out like nothing else matters. Every time!

happy birthday ma!

It's my mom's birthday! I've text-ed and called her earlier this morning. She's just the best mom in the whole wide world. Have a great day and may you'll always be blessed.

By the way, I've came to pick the jacket (white blazer for the practical years). Thank goodness that the jacket's perfect on my body because I've spent quite a lot for it. Well, here's a picture of me trying it on. I've had enough with the photo shoot. So I guess this is the best shot I've ever made so far.

Oh, not to mention I've tried something new. Notice the pashmina? Thanks a gazillion for the inspiration by Hana. Her style is simply fabulous and I just can't get enough of it. And I'm quite sure I'll be there for her Maysaa opening in Malaysia. I guess there's always first time for everything. I'm so excited for it!

My mom won't be complaining about how boring I used to look any more. Yeay!

p.s. from left my dad, ma and me! This picture was taken a few months back when we were at Genting Highlands. Forgive the weird faces that my parents gave. They've just got off the ginormous spinning swing (and then they finally realized that they're just too old for adrenaline rush any more). Haha. It was an extreme fun to look at those weird faces!!

self obsession

sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila sarah nabila

p.s. this is weird! :)

memories never fade

Lets go down the memory lane. This is a picture of me with my home-room mates and my beloved home-room teacher Ms. Fazlinda. I was 14 in the year 2002. Wow! Time really passed by very fast. It actually reminded me of how old have I become. LOL.

p.s. try to find me!

p.s.s. best high school ever. Enough said.

yukon gold

Kak Emma made this delicious looking dumplings the other day. Then I suddenly recalled this one Polish delicacy made by Martha Stewart. It looks tasty enough for me to try. The dish is called pierogi with potatoes and cream cheese filling. Sounds delicious right?

Oh! I've been thinking to make some potato salad as well. But when I googled the images of potato salad, these pictures below appeared. And my, how can I resist it? I'm definitely going to try these too!

p.s. I'm going out. Is it time for shopping?

full of words

Hi there! Currently I'm here in Makassar to renew my re-entry permit and to settle everything regarding December convocation. Anyway, it's no fun talking about those stuff either. So I've tried to upload several pictures since last night.

Well, it's about my sister's madness to manga and magazines. I've had a great time reading tonnes of magazines that until now, you can call me the expert. I've done a great catch up with the Hollywood celebrities and all. Thanks for the fabulous mags!

I've been doing my reading a lot back at home. I read newspapers everyday from cover to cover (even the 1klassified section in case there's someone who wants to sell his/her car in a cheaper price. Hehe). Anyway, Here's several books that I've read. But to look back to what I've done, it's a freaking loads of books!

This one is a love story series. Very light reading, meant for readers of tweenage I guess. Anyhow, in the end it's a happy ending. God knows how much I love happy ending stories.

Kaoru's masterpieces. I love her drawings, shading and the storyline. In additional, I'm a fan of Kaoru's since my high school years! Hope that my sister will continue collecting her art works too.

And loads of manga. Or comic books should I be calling them. Love stories. But sometimes, I just can feel like I've had too many love story already. Haha.

Well what can I say. My sister's collection's endless. There's a lot more than all these pictures above.

Anyway, My dad consistently asking me whether I've done reading this bulky book. He meant reading it from cover to cover and not to miss any words written in it. Can I say I'm half way already? I don't think he'll be satisfied with the answer.

p.s. I wonder why I don't like Bryce Larkin in Chuck but somehow I'm totally in love with Neal Caffrey in White Collar. Love is weird. Very weird!

p.s.s. hope to improve my English with that much reading too.

my bantal busuk

I've tried to wait patiently for the picture of my bantal busuk to be uploaded. Sadly, the internet wasn't capable to do so. Never mind. I'll put up the picture eventually. Just wait for the post entitled My Bantal Busuk 2.

Anyway, if you try to translate bantal busuk to English, it becomes smelly pillow. Regardless the word smelly, actually mine wasn't smelly at all. Believe me it's true. My bantal busuk had been accompanying me ever since I don't have any pillows left in my house. *I've stated in my previous post that I'm the only child who travel (to study) a lot more than my other sisters and brothers.*

Good news is that I've taken much effort to dump him into the washing machine and had him a good spin. Now, even better, he's smelling all nice and he even feels fresh himself (yeah I know. He only talks to me).

I take this opportunity to thank my bantal busuk for being there when it's time for me to sleep. Without him I wouldn't have a good night plus sweet dreams. Not to mention when I need someone to shed my tears on, he successfully absorbed the precious tear drops without failing even once. Thanks for becoming soggy for me. Haha.

p.s. next time I'll soak him in a basin filled with gallons of Dettol and Clorox! Mwa ha ha (very evil laugh)

my bantal busuk 2

p.s. I love my sleeping pants. And by the way, this is bantal busuk before he had his bath.

churned

FYI, I've changed my flight departure to 17th November! It's the day of Aidiladha if you don't know. Anyway, it seems like the faculty had never failed to make my stomach churn even more than the usual. I've just had my regular-Facebook check-ups just now and suddenly there're so much about the December convocation. Guess what? It successfully made me restless.

p.s. what should I do?

the weather woman

It was such a nice a day yesterday. The sky was in the nicest blue shade with some white cotton candies spread thoroughly. I can't stop looking at the gorgeous green hills and valleys along the highway (which I apparently didn't know the name of).

To be honest, I'm not the person who likes to go out. I don't prefer going out. Regardless to have dinner, window shopping or even to have my 100, 000 steps a day. I'm a home person. I seldom step out of my house. The farthest maybe when my mom asked me to go and get her stuffs from the grocery shop (which is just at the corner of the street).

So yesterday, my mom, my youngest sister and I went to KL Sentral to fetch my younger sister. She had finished her papers and it's time for the semester break. In the car, I thought wow! I haven't been outside for quite a long time. I even been amazed to see the roads, buildings and every other stuffs revolved around them.

I just love this kind of weather! It brings the glee to my dull and sorrow life (at the mean time only).

p.s when it rains, I'm totally not in a good mood. Maybe I have double personality!! LOL.

p.s.s can i be the weather forecast woman? On second thought, I don't think so. My English is poor. Pity me.

long, luscious, jet black

I used to have my hair long. Never been short. However, I had to attend KKN which meant that I have to live in a village located in super duper rural area and needed a haircut so that it's more manageable. Sadly now I'm missing it. I used to adjust with my short hair actually because it made me look younger!! And what more can I say if my hair is a little similar to Go Minam in Minami Shineyo. Uber CUTE =)


Can you imagine how I might look like? Haha.

p.s. I want to be like her. So pretty!

have a little thought about it

I've heard this one Japanese sayings which meant something like;

'The more you endure the pain that you've been facing through, the more chances that you'll achieve the multiple happiness in the end'.

Is it true?

p.s. actually I got it from Nakatsu Shuichi from Hanazakari no Kimitachi e. Haha!

i know i know

It's back to back posting on my very precious blog. FYI, I'm not sick. It's just that I really missed blabbing and vomiting words on this blog (literally). Anyway, how do you find this picture interesting? At first I thought it was kind of cute. But later, it seems like I'm having severe constipation. Haha. (so not funny)

p.s. that's why profile picture is not a 'smiling' profile picture. I'll change it but not now.

i've got the magic in me

This is a story about my great grandfather. Recently, my mom told me about how she lived with 11 other aunts and uncles in the same house since she was born until she finished her high school. Then the story about how my great grandfather managed to support the whole family arose.

Here comes my favourite part. Mom told me that my great grandfather was once an engineer! Can you believe that? I mean I have the engineer blood in me. Well she said that he started working as an electrical engineer in UEM. Then he managed to get promoted eventually. From riding a bicycle to work, he was able to buy his motorbike or vespa (I'm not sure) and in the end he got himself a car for the family.

But that's not the end for it. He actually had an engineering company named after him. It was Syarikat Kejuruteraan Mohamed. Wow! I'm just sooo proud of him. I bet if he's still alive, he'll remember me because I'm his first grandchild of course.

Know what, I've always been thinking that my life would be much more amazing if I could study elsewhere. Since I've got the 'magic' in me, I thought it would be great if I could take engineering and go study to Korea or Japan. And I can touch the snow for real this time! Or maybe I can meet Lee Young Jae or Tae Kyung or Ji ho in Korea. If I'm in Japan maybe I can somehow meet Domyouji, Nakatsu or even my beloved Nanba senpai!!! (enough said)

You can say that I'm biased. I tell you what, I guess I really am. I might as well go to France, Germany or even Australia to study engineering. But do you know the reason why wouldn't I pick those countries? Haha. Because I've never known any hot and super cute actors originate from there. Isn't it obvious? I'll still pick Japan or Korea for God sake.

p.s. I'm back into my reality. My life as a student is in Makassar. I'm studying medicine. I'll finish in about 2 years from now. I have to face it. Yup, I know.

p.s.s. Me and my brothers and sister Johor celebrating Aidilfitri in 2010. Suppose I have 2 sisters however the other one was busy snapping this pictures of us.

The thing about life is that it's just too complicated. You're maybe facing this certain phase in life but once you go back and reminisce all previous histories, sometimes it makes you think twice, thrice or maybe more than that.

I'm full of complex feelings mixed and jumbled up right now. It seems like I'm being sucked up by a whirlpool.


p.s. fyi, I'm really terrified of water. Not to mention whirlpool (above is just a random picture i picked from the internet but really suits my feelings right now), which for me it equals to a ginormous and brutal shark from 'Jaws'!!

p.s.s. that's also my other reason why I don't prefer to take a bath. Haha. But I constantly trying to make it happen. You know.. (cross my heart)

happy birthday to me

I was born on the 13th October in the year of dragon. Since I'm the one daughter who didn't stay any longer than 12 years with her family at home, I'm not that fond of celebrating that particular day. Most of the time I was in school so frankly all I got was text messages from my family with birthday wishes in it. Okay, maybe with a several birthday calls from my parents too. Till I had the chance to study abroad, celebrating my birthday was the least favourite for me.

I guess it's a bit weird though right? Well I can't say that I don't like to celebrate it at all because I did try to get the joyous feelings. Sadly, I just can't. We have a tradition to celebrate that particular day by having the whole family member to gather and have some dinner and of course stuffing our mouths with the birthday cake!

Now I know very well for my reasons not to want to celebrate my birthday. First, because most of the time I don't get the chance to have my family members right beside me. Regardless if I have my birthday cake but without them, it's definitely lonely and empty.

p.s. 2nd reason: I don't know why but I don't like to be reminded annually that I'getting older and older. Haha

p.s.s. I specifically requested to have only 2 small candles(equals to 2 years old if you didn't get what i mean) on my birthday cake. To my disappointment, they neglected my every words and urged me to blow all the candles. Sigh. I don't want to be a 36 years old nanny yet!

a fresh start

Deepest condolences i bid to my beloved blog since I've deleted most of my previous posts (all of them to be precise). Hehe. Sorry. I guess I need a rather dramatic change to this blog. I promise myself not to publish too many posts regarding my tantrums and all other stuffs related.

Anyway, consider this post as a fresh start to something in between the good, the bad and the weird version of me. I have to admit that I'm made of those characters.

p.s. try to love this one =)